PCP - Top 10 Guy Movies

Originally posted by me on my friend's blog le-noir.com on 9/20/10

Some movies are just not for all audiences.  The movies on this top ten list are all movies that are for men.  Check your pants.  Are your genitals outside your body?  If so, then this list is for you.  If you haven’t seen the majority of these movies, check your pants again, because your man-card will be revoked shortly if you don’t add these to your Netflix queue immediately.  This list is filled with the best movies that I have seen for guys.

10.  Taken.  Why is Taken on this list?  It may not be the greatest revenge movie ever, but it is definitely one of my all time favorites.  Why?  Because Liam Neeson is just flat out badass in this movie.  I’m so used to seeing him in dramas and serious roles, so to see him taking names and kicking ass is an awesome change of pace.  His Bryan Mills is so awesome in this movie, I think he’d take out Jack Bauer if the two of them ever met up.

9.  Army of Darkness.  Although not as violent as most of the movies on this list, this film is definitely a guys movie.  My wife always hates it when this movie comes on TV, because she knows she’s just lost me for the next 90 minutes.  This is one of those films that women just don’t get.  Between the cheesy special effects and memorable corny one liners spouted by the awesome Bruce Campbell, this movie is simply a ton of fun.  “Hail to the king, baby.”

8.  Punisher: War Zone.  Although not the greatest film in terms of acting, it has everything that a movie based on a hyper-violent vigilante comic-book character should have: a huge body count.  The Punisher is a killing machine, and unlike the 2 previous attempts to make a Punisher movie, this one finally took the gloves off and had him executing criminals just like he does in the comics.

7.  Rambo.  The 2008 version of Rambo has something in common with number 8 on this list, it has actress Julie Benz in a supporting role.  It also has in common an enormous body count that averages to over two and a half kills for every minute of the film, a higher body count than any of the previous Rambo movies.  Many of the kills come at the hands of a .50 cal machine gun, a weapon that can be used on vehicles, and instead here is used on humans to bloody effect.  The movie has political overtones also, thanks to the ongoing human rights abuses in Burma, where the film supposedly takes place.

6.  Enter the Dragon. Bruce Lee’s masterpiece martial arts film helped usher in a wave of action flicks imported from the Far East, and changed Hollywood’s film making forever.  The saddest thing about watching this film is having the knowledge that Bruce Lee died shortly after filming this, so one can only dream as to what direction his career would have taken if he had still been alive.  Bruce Lee was the man, one of if not the best martial artists on film ever.

5.  Kill Bill.  The 2-part opus from Quentin Tarantino is another classic guy film.  I personally prefer Vol. I to Vol II, but for the purposes of this list I am considering it to be one whole film.  Vol. I has some of the greatest fights committed to film, both the knock-down drag out between Vivica A. Fox and Uma Thurman, and then the epic sword clash between Uma and a whole horde of gangsters that has blood and limbs flying everywhere.  Vol II’s trailer smashing fight between Uma and Daryl Hannah is also outstanding.  The scenes between the action are just as good as the fights though, thanks to the great actors and actresses in the film, and the awesome writing of Quentin Tarantino.

4.  Boondock Saints.  This cult classic doesn’t have as high of a body count as some of the other films on this list, but its creative writing, over the top action, and hammy acting make it a classic guy’s movie.  Despite making almost no money in theaters when it was first released, it became popular enough through DVD sales and word of mouth that it actually got a sequel a decade later.  I love this movie for its dialogue, its kills, and the insanely over the top acting by Willem Dafoe, who steals every scene he is in.

3.  Hard Boiled. This import from Hong Kong stars Chow Yun-Fat as a gun loving detective nicknamed Tequila who takes on the Triads.  Directed by John Woo, the movie also stars Tony Leung, another phenomenal Hong Kong actor, who you might have seen if you ever saw Lust, Caution; Red Cliff; Hero; or Infernal Affairs.  As an FYI, Infernal Affairs is also worth a watch, as it was so good it was remade for American audiences.  You might know it better as The Departed.  Anyways, Hard Boiled’s action sequences are so awesome in traditional John Woo style of a ballet of bullets and it has a 300+ body count.  The movie was so good that about 15 years later a videogame sequel was made where you can play as Chow Yun-Fat’s character, the videogameStranglehold. It’s not every day that a movie can be that bad ass that a video game is made on the movie 15 years later.

2.  Sin City.  Based on the stylish and hyper-violent graphic novels by Frank Miller, the film is pretty much a live action graphic novel.  This makes sense considering that Miller is one of the co-directors, and the shots in the film are practically moving recreations of the panels of the novels.  The cast of this film is enormous, including Bruce Willis, Mickey Rourke, Clive Owen, Rosario Dawson, Benicio Del Toro, Michael Clarke Duncan, Jessica Alba, Josh Hartnett, Rutger Hauer, Jaime King, Nick Stahl, and Elijah Wood, amongst many other familiar faces.  From a filmmaking standpoint, this is one of the coolest movies I’ve ever seen, and as a guy movie, the over the top violence and brutality definitely makes it a guy flick.  My wife almost walked out on watching the movie with me, and vows never to watch the film again.

1.  The Killer. My all time favorite action flick is again from the team of John Woo as director and Chow Yun-Fat as the star.  This time Chow Yun-Fat is a hitman with a conscience and a sense of honor, practically a modern-day samurai, and Danny Lee as the cop that is trying to stop him.  Although it has a modest body count of only 120, the two epic shootouts in this film at a beach house and at a church are absolutely amazing.  Between the filming of the two shootouts, 60,000 rounds of ammunition were fired, which is even more amazing when you consider just how many of the rounds were fired from pistols and not submachine guns.  The shootouts each also took about a month to film, and that dedication is part of why the film is just so awesome.  I can’t recommend this film enough.  Go see this movie, and go see this movie now.  Make it # 1 in your Netflix queue or your man-card is hereby revoked.